"McFly...just like your father...a slacker!"

I had a whole 'nother post planned. But I think I will hold on to it for a minute, 'cause today, I feel like a slack-ass. Well...I often feel like a slack-ass and not because, I over-extended my lunch by 10 minutes reading so wise's best hits, but because, though I crack on the folk with the "bougie black thing to-do list", that damn list is engrained in my psyche somewhere and we are constantly in a state of war.



The "list" is kicking my tail today. See me and "the list", used to be real cool. I was adding to the list and checking it twice, more times than not in my early 20's. I thought, I was on my way to checking off:

-Married by 25
-at least one kid by 28
-A house in an urban suburb by 30
-A Master degree before 27

Then lots of real shit happened-- broken hearts, promising relationships that went terribly sour, job loses, and near loss of life--twice...

That's when the good sense my 'rents gave me kicked in. I decided fuck it, I'm young and a rack of people I know got married on the "bougie black" track of marriage by 25 and are now divorced and trying to find themselves. Settling on anything in order to check that shit off my list stopped being an option. But every once and a while, I'm like "it was also so perfectly laid out--what the hell did I do wrong?"

Why? I think it is the impending on set of thirty. Though the shit is a whole year away, I am so very excited and so very terrified of it. Why? Because, that list seems to be telling me I'm behind. And I am having a hard time getting it to shut the hell up. All my damn friends keep calling me with grow-folk good news, while my ass is still in grad school, living the undergrad life in a house in Jersey City with 2 roommates.

My peeps, are kicking ass and taking names. And all in the right way... and inadvertently contributing to my slack-ass feeling. In the last year:

-5 people bought houses
-6 people identified and decided to marry the "love" of their life
-4 people got new cars and houses ( I have an unhealthy love for sports cars--so everytime I hear about my boy's RX-8 I look at the Ac like its an old piece of trash)
-2 people are pregnant, one with multiples.

All of which adds up to me being the slack-ass of the bunch.

But for today, only... I'll get over it and be back to my happily young-ass self. I will enjoy my free living life on guh'ment student loans and scholarships, while reveling in the fact that I still get to do whatever the hell I want. Hell, all those fools are damn near 35!( some of them creeping dangerously close to 40) I got plenty of time.