Keeping Up with the Jonzee still at the right spot.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

If I were a Rich Girl

My homie in the 'Nati asked me a very interesting question today. He asked me what would I do, if I won $20 million dollars in the lottery.

First, I wouldn't be that fool taking some picture with a big ass check in my hand. That's out. We know what happens when people see you on TV with that check. They start calling talking 'bout "let me hold $5,000" and "Man, I sure don't know how I'm gonna pay for x,y,z".

Yeah, that won't be me player. I'd like to keep my money close.

First thing I'd do? I get a lawyer and an accountant. I'd need the lawyer to set up trusts and estate vehicles for me. You never know, my long lost cousin Lee Lee and her "Husband" Tyrone might think they are Bonnie and Clyde. The accountant is so I can manage my riches, bitches.

Next, I call up Sallie Mae and give her her damn money. All of it. Then I'd get up with CC and them, and give them all the money I owe them. ( CC are my two credit cards that seem to always be hovering close to the limit since I went back to school.)

I pay off the car...and sell it. Then I go buy a 2006 Infiniti FX 35 in burnt orange.

Next, I buy my first house. It will be a rehab and an investment property, so that I can have some automatic equity. Shit, I might be rich, but I plan to only use it as a way in the door that my current low cash flow situation won't walk me through.

I think it might be a duplex and let my dumb ass brother (with the stip that dumb heifer girlfriend of his live elsewhere) live there--at a rent discount. Not for free. I'd rent out the other part.

I set up college funds for the three rugrats (my aunts kids who are more like nieces and nephews). No cash. The funds for all school related expenses will be disbursed by the accountant provided they aren't on academic probation.

I also offer the same to my brother along with some reliable transportation (it won't be new cause he's just gonna do some dumb shit to it) and start an investment account for him, managed by someone else with the stip that he can't touch it for 5 years.

I'd buy the house I live in at school. And keep renting out the top floor. I'd rehab my part of the house, with all the tricks--jacuzzi tub, finished home entertainment room in the basement, Master suite with private bath . New landscaping and one of those fancy ass grills with the all the gadgets and stuff.

I'd pay off my parents mortgage, give them $500,000 and buy them two new cars (Pop wants a Benz and Ma wants an AC) and start an investment account for each of them with $200,000 in it.

I'd payoff my grandparent house, too.

I know lots of people would take off and travel and stuff. But I got one year left of school, and I would just finish it. Then I would take off for 4 months and go to Brazil, Ghana, South Africa, Nigeria, Egypt, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Thailand, Fiji, Hawaii and home.

I'd sit down with an investment strategist put $100,000 each in three accounts for discretionary spending. $150,000 in a mission-based deposit at Shorebank. Invest $50,000 in my boy's company, Nile Publishing. I'd disburse $2 million to the following charities: Enterprise Community Partners, Shorebank Enterprise Group-Cleveland, UNCF, my current school, and the AKA foundation (specifically for a mentorship program for teenage girls in Cleveland.)

I think that is enough, don't you?


  • At 11:36 PM, Blogger DP said…

    Thats my KJ...always got her eyes on the prize.

    um...aint no way around the pic with the big check.

    Thats part of the deal you sign when you GET the check...the whole

    I acknowledge that my likeness can and will be used in promotional yada yada blase split. are off to a bang off start.

  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger chele said…

    yeah, the pic and the big check is part of the deal.

    sounds like you've thought of everything.

    me? I probably wouldn't do anything for like 3 months. Just lay low ...

  • At 7:23 PM, Anonymous viperteq said…

    Sorry for the long time commenting....karazy weekend, lol!!

    Man you're list is wwwwaaaaayyyyy more extensive than what I said in my email. puts me to shame.... I guess, i need to do some re-evaluating!!!

  • At 12:42 AM, Blogger jameil1922 said…

    there are limits on how much you can give before you get HUGE taxes. its something like 50k. but attys and accts know how to get around stuff like that. i never think abt the lottery really b/c i don't play.


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